The Writer Who Can’t Write

I do not hide the fact that, despite being a self-proclaimed writer, I’m pretty rubbish at it.

There are days when I ask myself, Am I just stupid.

Or even, “How can I call myself a writer, when I can’t spell”.

It can be stressful because, on some days, it feels like I simply cannot claim to be a writer when I do not necessarily have the full skills set to do so.

I feel like an imposter within the writing community.

I mean, I don’t have two clues as to proper punctuation and/or spelling.

Let’s just say, thank fudge for spell checkers.

It’s kind of embarrassing really, that I’m this grown ass adult who probably has less sense of the proper English language, than someone ten years younger than me.

Once a therapist asked me if I was dyslexic, as apparently it also affects mental health.

I know that dyslexia runs in my family, but I was never tested.

I was just seen as, well, not very smart. I wasn’t the type to question it either, I just believed adults were always right.

I vividly remember needing a purple overlay to read books as a child. In fact, I still tend to highlight sentences when I read online. Paragraphs tend to merge together for me.

I always sucked at maths, I just really struggle with even the basic things.. but I guess that never bothered me as I have a calculator on my phone.

I wasn’t putting two and two together. I didn’t even realise what dyslexia was until I took the online dyselixa.org recommended test.

When I started writing and actually re-reading my work, I noticed that I was making a lot of spelling mistakes.

One example was spelling the word ‘news’ as ‘nuse’ and no matter how many times I re-spelled it, I couldn’t figure it out.

I am so glad that I can Google a word and it will tell me the right spelling, it saves my ass.

So yeah, it’s very clear that I have struggles, I am no genius and I am okay with that.

I do not know the exact reason as to why I struggle, but honestly, finding an excuse for my trouble with writing isn’t what this post is about.

But this is what I want you to know, you don’t have to be good at ‘writing’ to be a writer.

Art is an expression, it’s a hobby, it’s something that is entirely subjective to who you are.

Know this, I don’t write with the intention to please people with badass spelling skills, I write because I want to.

I still get my point across, I still help people, I still do pretty well for someone who can’t use a comma right.

It’s one of the reasons I hate the ‘spelling police’.

I actually feel so insecure when I type or write anything out, because I don’t want to be judged for being ‘less smart’.

I don’t want my writing ability to take away from the message that I am trying to put out there.

Sometimes though, I feel like I almost am blind to wrong and right English grammar.

The amount of times I’ve read a Tweet over and over before publishing, and I still make a mistake so I delete it in seconds, is very real.

Please think of it this way, when someone finds joy in something, it’s not your right to take that away.

We should never limit a person’s dreams and goals for the sake that they do not fit into someone else’s standards.

Writing, creating, living, it should be fun. Being judged constantly really removes the fun from it.

Plus, you could just say that our language is all made up anyway, so really, telling someone they are stupid, is like shouting at them for wearing a shirt you don’t like.

 

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