How “Coming Out” Helped My Mental Health

What does ‘coming out’ mean to you? 

Most of us associate it with being open with your sexuality, which is certainly the focus of this post.

But I just wanted to say, coming out can be about many things. It can be about a secret, your feelings or basically anything which you want to let the world know and free yourself from that self-stigma.

 Coming out could also mean different things in what is personal to you. 

For some, it could be telling their best friend and for others, it could be a full-blown press release.

However people decide to come out, it is valid and important; because they are learning to live for themselves and not others.

So, I don’t often talk about my sexuality on Twitter but I also don’t hide it. But in truth, I can’t say that I can define myself under any sexuality.

I just know that I am not just attracted to one gender or one person.

I don’t have a ‘type’. I guess I just look at people for who they are. What they stand for and how they navigate through life itself. I have more desire for a person’s soul than their genetic code.

As I like to say, love has nothing to do with genitals. Let’s be honest, you do need to be attracted to someone to love them, but you don’t fall in love with someone for what their biology.

I remember being about 7 years old. I didn’t understand much about gender really.

But I do remember looking at this girl in my class and thinking that there was no one on earth more beautiful than her.

She was my first real crush and I never thought much if it. I loved her friendship and I adored her as a person, both inside and out. I thought about her all the time, I embraced the smiles she bestowed on me and I just felt all warm and fuzzy.

When I was older, I realized that there was didn’t have to be a limit to my sexuality. I realized that I just fell for some people and others I didn’t. There was no need for a label. 

As society took more control over me, I became scared and confused. I didn’t understand how I wasn’t ‘normal’ and why me not solely liking the opposite sex was a problem.

When did my romantic feelings suddenly become a concern to others?

And I’ll say this to you now. Who people love, who people date or sleep with. It’s none of your business. As long as they are not actively hurting others.

I did for a long time dabble with the idea that I was bisexual and honestly, I had so many friends that were but something didn’t sit right. The label didn’t fit. I felt like I was trying to trap myself in a box.

I realized, I don’t need a label but I do need to be honest with myself.  I was so desperate to fit in somewhere, but I felt like I didn’t.

At 17, my sexuality grew. I found that I liked all sorts of people of all genders, races and walks of life.

There was no ‘type’ or box that I was trying to tick. It was something I had no control over.

Since then, I’ve not hidden the fact that I am not heterosexual or homosexual (or anything inbetween), though it would wrong for there to be an issue of I did class myself as either.

What we define ourselves as, is our own right.

I am just who I am and there is no need to define or hide that, not if it doesn’t help me. What came from this was freedom and liberation.

Escaping the shackles of societies norms showed me that we do not have to be all the same.

People are not made in a factory. Our differences are beautiful and give us our quirks. Uniqueness should be celebrated, not persecuted. 

My Mental health is shining brightly with the comfort that I do not have to be the person others want me to be. I have always been fine how I am. Stereotypes are toxic and help no one.

So to my LBGT friends, there is nothing abnormal about you. Love is love, it doesn’t need a gender or definition. Live for yourself, follow your heart and never sacrifice your happiness for others.

No matter how you describe your sexuality, it is valid and the only person who is allowed to tell you who you are, is you.

And to those who can’t see outside of their box. No harm will come to you if others exist who do not love the same as you. You will not die if you see anything other than heterosexuality.

Honestly, how would you feel if you were told you could not be with the person you loved?

The world could be so great if we focused on our own matters of the heart rather than everyone else’s. Let’s do that.

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