What is happiness? I’m not talking about a scientific or even the Oxford Dictionary definition. I am talking about feelings, the ones that are completely yours.
Maybe I should rephrase, what is happiness to you?
Happiness, to me, is the warmth of the sun. It’s the birds singing and calling out to each other. It’s the trees swaying in the breeze or the pitter-patter of rain on the window.
It’s waking up to my town covered in snow and cuddling my dog tight to keep her warm. It’s that Christmas Eve excitement for tomorrow, or the prospect of travelling somewhere new.
Really, happiness is not one big thing, it’s not one huge emotion. It’s a fleeting cluster of moments that fill our insides with such joy, so why is it so hard to feel?
I think part of it, is that we do not allow ourselves to feel happiness. After my father died, for example, I found that I did not want to live without my father in my life, therefore I did not allow myself to be happy, it was a dark time.
Maybe the other side is that we don’t know what we are looking for. A lot of us spend such a long time searching for happiness. You see a million articles a day, giving you the top tips on becoming happy. Or you see books that say claim to give you the key to happiness within its pages.
The thing is though, is that happiness is not permanent. We cannot be happy, it’s not a state of mind, it’s not a switch. It’s an emotion, it’s a feeling, it’s not something that can be defined by any one person.
It makes me think that if people are so determined to be happy, then are they trying to mask the sadness? Ignore the pain? When in fact, we need that sadness to grow and to learn, how can we even know what happiness is, if we haven’t felt the opposite? I have found that despite the trials in my life, they have made me appreciate what I have.
I live my life in a simple way now, I do not live to be a happy person. I live to enjoy the little things that make me feel happy and I do more of them; it’s what my father taught me to do.
Don’t ever put pressure on yourself to be someone you are not. Embrace your being, with scars and all. You deserve happiness and you will find it, as Dumbledore said, you need to turn on the light.